This is It

Lately it just seems like nothing fits. My schedule doesn't fit into 5 days, let alone the hours I use to study. My perspective doesn't seem to be fitting with others lately. It kind of feels like I lost my place. Somehow in the three wekes I spent back in Pittsburgh and to return to school, make me feel, like I've lost sight of things. People have just been irking me. I'm homesick, I feel lonely, it just seems nothing is right. But then again there are moments that break up the tears that I feel like crying, and the times I haven't talked to anyone in hours. I realize that this (at least for me) is the last true college expiereince I will ever have. From here on out, when I return to school, I will be working in some shape and form. It feels so surreal, yet in 12 weeks it will be a reality. And maybe part of me isn't ready to face that reality. Maybe I just want to be the 21 and very soon 22 year old college student, who goes to taverns on staruday nights (and gets kicked out, becasue her friends aren't of age yet), drinking Miller Lite out of cans, staying up studying till I'm ready to puke nursing, going out at 3am for ice cream becasue you and your friend can't sleep, and lots of other things. And for now, I am. I think that I think realistically too much sometimes. It's not a bad thing, but it has a curse of its own. Amid all the stress and frustrations of returning to school, I can't help think: This is it. Really...after May it will be so different and wonderful and scarry at the same time. Part of me can't wait and the other part of me wishes that I were still 5, and the hardest choice I had to make was what juice box I wanted to drink for lunch. This is it.....And becasue this is it, I plan on just living like a 22 year old college student, who spends time in scrubs, drinking Miller Lite out of cans, going for ice cream runs at 3am, studying till I'm puking nursing....This is it