Happy Halloween kids! So I decided to come home for this Halloweekend, instead of hanging out at school at some party drinking out of an infamous red cup or cruising to Cleveland with some of my ofave chicas. It's just a much needed mini break away from Erie, the nursing program, and other things that have been driving me crazy. So I'm currently sitting on the couch watching Penn State play Northwestern, and atticipating trick-or-treaters, and they better start comming soon, or this bowl of peanut butter cups is about to be completley gone.
So, this problem of deciding between Erie and Pittsburgh has gotten somewhat better. I still don't kow where or what I will be doing, but after talking to my nurse mentor, it helped place some things realistically in perspective. I feel better about making a decision, even if it means staying in Erie for at least two years. There are alot of options being a new nurse and I plan on seeing what they are and picking the one that will meet my goals.
There's other things I want to write about, but I'm enjoying sitting on my sofa, with a bowl of peanut butter cups, a huge nursing book, and Penn State tying it up against Northwestern.Let's go State! Later loves, I'll be Behrend bound tomorrow morning....
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Afterthoughts
Lately it seems that I have just too many thoughts...most of them random for sure, so I think I'm just going to break them down one by one : )
My Barista
The other day when I was walking to class with pumpkin latte in hand, I was thinking about my barista at starbucks. Okay he's not mine, I don't own him or anything like that, but him and I have a bond that is truly unbreakable. Each fall, Starbucks features a pumpkin spiced latte and it is truly one of my favorite things about this season. Since there is a starbucks a few blocks up form Hamot, I visit this place every Friday, before or after clinical and sometimes even both. Usually its after a long day of clinical, so I can catch up with my best friend who goes to Gannon and this is the time when my Barista is working. He always gives me extra foam and sometimes he sneaks a little whipped cream on top for me. It makes my freaking afternoon: for realzies. We never usually speak, although he knows who I am, and I'm pretty sure he knows my name; thank you Hamot ID badge. And in my perfect world it would always be a overcast fall day, my fave barista is working, and my pumpkin lattes are endless. Sadly, schedules change, snow will be falling soon, and there is only about one month left of my fave featured latte. Such is life and the only reason I thought of this was because my pumpkin latte was just not the same. Oh Barista boy...we come from two very different worlds: coffee and medicine, and the two don't really mix, except on friday afternoons : )
Attention Getter(s)
It's hard to find time between studying, clinical rotations, and endless paperwork, to mix with a social life. I find it hard dividing time between friends and my dedication to nursing. I skip dinners, don't call or txt back right away, give up weekends and other things, but I'm not focusing on my sacrifices, that was another entry anyway. I found myself having feelings for a guy...and they were feelings that I hadn't felt for any other guy before. Long story short: he doesn't feel the same way about me and he still doesnt't know how I feel/felt about him...and he probably never will...at least not right now. The point is...after giving it some thought....I wouldn't be a good person to be in a relationship anyway and I know I couln't give the attention needed for something like that. But who does get my attention....that was what I was wondering the other night. Who....and why....It comes down to this: it's my patient(s). The five to eight hours I spend at the hospital, are devoted to my patient, and eventually my multiple patients. They get my knowledge, they get my attention, and yes, they even get my love. For however many hours, minuets, seconds, they get it all. It's a kind of love that completley drains me of all my energy, and there are bad moments mixed in, but its worth it. I figured, I'm not married, I'm not engaged, I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have to divide my attention, between my patients/studies and something like that. I don't know how...I struggle sometimes even with dividing that attention with my friends...and I know I haven't be the greatest of firends lately....so I could only imagine what that would do with a relationship. I am happy with this though, its not something to pitty over, I'm not mourning over a lack of social life or the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. Is it frustrating sometimes? Yes, but everything has a way of working out in the end.
End of Shift
This is it. I'm eight weeks away from the end of the semester and with 15 left in the spring semester, I'm about 23 weeks (excluding breaks) away from graduating with my first degree. This is the end of one shift and the beginning of the other.
As always, hearts, hugs, n' much prayers.....
My Barista
The other day when I was walking to class with pumpkin latte in hand, I was thinking about my barista at starbucks. Okay he's not mine, I don't own him or anything like that, but him and I have a bond that is truly unbreakable. Each fall, Starbucks features a pumpkin spiced latte and it is truly one of my favorite things about this season. Since there is a starbucks a few blocks up form Hamot, I visit this place every Friday, before or after clinical and sometimes even both. Usually its after a long day of clinical, so I can catch up with my best friend who goes to Gannon and this is the time when my Barista is working. He always gives me extra foam and sometimes he sneaks a little whipped cream on top for me. It makes my freaking afternoon: for realzies. We never usually speak, although he knows who I am, and I'm pretty sure he knows my name; thank you Hamot ID badge. And in my perfect world it would always be a overcast fall day, my fave barista is working, and my pumpkin lattes are endless. Sadly, schedules change, snow will be falling soon, and there is only about one month left of my fave featured latte. Such is life and the only reason I thought of this was because my pumpkin latte was just not the same. Oh Barista boy...we come from two very different worlds: coffee and medicine, and the two don't really mix, except on friday afternoons : )
Attention Getter(s)
It's hard to find time between studying, clinical rotations, and endless paperwork, to mix with a social life. I find it hard dividing time between friends and my dedication to nursing. I skip dinners, don't call or txt back right away, give up weekends and other things, but I'm not focusing on my sacrifices, that was another entry anyway. I found myself having feelings for a guy...and they were feelings that I hadn't felt for any other guy before. Long story short: he doesn't feel the same way about me and he still doesnt't know how I feel/felt about him...and he probably never will...at least not right now. The point is...after giving it some thought....I wouldn't be a good person to be in a relationship anyway and I know I couln't give the attention needed for something like that. But who does get my attention....that was what I was wondering the other night. Who....and why....It comes down to this: it's my patient(s). The five to eight hours I spend at the hospital, are devoted to my patient, and eventually my multiple patients. They get my knowledge, they get my attention, and yes, they even get my love. For however many hours, minuets, seconds, they get it all. It's a kind of love that completley drains me of all my energy, and there are bad moments mixed in, but its worth it. I figured, I'm not married, I'm not engaged, I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have to divide my attention, between my patients/studies and something like that. I don't know how...I struggle sometimes even with dividing that attention with my friends...and I know I haven't be the greatest of firends lately....so I could only imagine what that would do with a relationship. I am happy with this though, its not something to pitty over, I'm not mourning over a lack of social life or the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. Is it frustrating sometimes? Yes, but everything has a way of working out in the end.
End of Shift
This is it. I'm eight weeks away from the end of the semester and with 15 left in the spring semester, I'm about 23 weeks (excluding breaks) away from graduating with my first degree. This is the end of one shift and the beginning of the other.
As always, hearts, hugs, n' much prayers.....
Thursday, October 8, 2009
No Stess, Just Restful Waters
I am so glad that is the end of the week....more so than usual. It was midterm week, as am sure many of my fellow Behrenders know. The first part of the week was jammed pack...three days of tests, tests, tests. Ugh, no matter what way I tried to look at, it just seeemed awful and some parts of it were. For the past couple of weeks, I've regressed into some bad habits of mine: not reading my notes, skimming through chapters, just bad study habits that I don't put up with; at least for myself. But I think I needed that...I needed something to kick me in the butt, and say "Hey Wilcher! What do you think you're doin'? What do you really want to do with this Nursing Degree?" In my moments of stress, I had one complete meltdown, which I think I completely freaked out my roomie, and I somehow managed to eat two dozen chocolate chip cookies by myself.
Pushing my nausea and tears aside, I began composing an email to one of my best friends and in the middle of it all, I saw how insignificant my worries were. I recalled a moment from night shift clinical on Monday: A patient transferred from the ICU, after a cardiac bypass surgery, who had a past history of a stroke, which left his right side of his body paralyzed. He was hard to understand when he spoke and I was worried that he was going to aspirate on his secretions, that he had a hard time coughing, due to his recent intubation and the extubation. He and any other patient that I have encountered, that are critically or chronically ill are truly and inspiration. Remembering my patient, his problems were greater than mine, and my worries even though they were troublesome, would eventually go away. My friend responded today saying "Stress is a horrible thing, but it does teach us not to be so sure of the affirmation from the world. God does not created stress, just restful waters."
It's true friends, we create stress and God guides us through it, even if we don't realize it. And in those moments of stress or doubt, there is usually something unexpectedly great thrown in.
Pushing my nausea and tears aside, I began composing an email to one of my best friends and in the middle of it all, I saw how insignificant my worries were. I recalled a moment from night shift clinical on Monday: A patient transferred from the ICU, after a cardiac bypass surgery, who had a past history of a stroke, which left his right side of his body paralyzed. He was hard to understand when he spoke and I was worried that he was going to aspirate on his secretions, that he had a hard time coughing, due to his recent intubation and the extubation. He and any other patient that I have encountered, that are critically or chronically ill are truly and inspiration. Remembering my patient, his problems were greater than mine, and my worries even though they were troublesome, would eventually go away. My friend responded today saying "Stress is a horrible thing, but it does teach us not to be so sure of the affirmation from the world. God does not created stress, just restful waters."
It's true friends, we create stress and God guides us through it, even if we don't realize it. And in those moments of stress or doubt, there is usually something unexpectedly great thrown in.
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